 |
International Adoption - A Life Changing Experience |
 |
| |
Choosing to Love a Stranger from a Distant Land:Is International Adoption Right for You?
It is important before taking another step towards international adoption that some self-examination occur. What are the reasons you want to adopt internationally? Is your motivation to adopt "to save a child"? Deep down are you looking to impress others with your good deed? Are you adopting to acquire a playmate for your biological child? Can you love and nurture a child who looks different and without knowledge of his or her history? Have you decided on international adoption only because the waiting period involved in adopting domestically is so long and uncertain? International adoption is a wonderful choice, but it does come with an added responsibility. Your child is coming from a different culture, and may be of a different race. You must have a respect for that country's values and culture. It is also necessary not to make it your primary goal to "Americanize" your child at the expense of his own culture. Your child may come with problems from being "institutionalized" or abused. International adoption takes prayerful thought and consideration.
Creating an International/Interracial Family: A Unique Challenge
If you are adopting a child of a different race, further self-examination may be necessary. What are your feelings about race? How do you feel about a lot of public attention? Do you have doubts that you could love a child of a different race? Can you provide the support needed for your child to grow up as a minority member of a white society? Viewing interracial adoption from both the parent's point of view and the child's point of view are important necessities before preceding with an interracial adoption. If you have doubts about your own feelings, adoption is not the way to prove that you are not prejudiced. That would be unfair to a child and yourself.
Becoming a "Different" Family: The Never-ending Questions
Are you ready for the never-ending questions? Far too often, when someone is told that your child is adopted, they feel that you have divulged some deep dark secret and, therefore, have invited them into your world of privacy. With many internationally adopted children, you do not have the option of not telling a complete stranger that your child is adopted, since it may already be evident. For this reason, it is important to realize that adopting interracially and/or internationally has its own unique set of issues. lt's constant stream of questions.
Expecting and Accepting the Unknown: Taking a Risk for Love
Having come through the mounds of paperwork, you are now holding a picture of your child in your hands. The agency has sent a video which you have watched over and over. You wonder what this child is really like? You dream of holding him or her. Playing "peek-a-boo" or "hide-and-seek". You have a fantasy of what your child will be like. Your child will be the perfect" child.
A fantasy child is a pleasure to be around. They don't throw tantrums, and they love us as much as we love them. Unfortunately, fantasy children or perfect children do not exist. Real children come with real problems. Real problems can be psychological ones, medical ones, or ones a developmental or cognitive nature. Don't expect your child's problems to disappear just because he is in a loving home that can provide him with excellent care. Children who have suffered the effects of institutionalization come with a number of problems. The reality is that some of these problems last a lifetime.
|
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
