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International Adoption - Celebrating Adoption |
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Creating Family Traditions: Coming Home Day
Your family should begin some sort of family tradition to celebrate the adoption of your child. You may want to celebrate the day that he joined your family by serving dishes and playing music from his native country. "Coming Home Day" may be a chance for your child to pick an activity that the family can do together as a celebration of his adoption.
Creating A Cover Story: Telling Your Child And Others about Adoption
Even before your child arrives in your home, you will be asked by relatives, neighbors, and others about your child and his past history. Rather than flounder or even betray personal information that should not be shared, you'll want to prepare a "cover story" a bland limited all-purpose summary that is offered to the world. This will be your child's story-- one he will give in response to inquirers.
- Do limit the information you tell your child and others.
- Don't tell any negative details about your child's birth family.
- Do write down questions you think others may ask and role play answering them.
- Don't fall into the trap of thinking I know my best friend would never tell.
- Do exhibit pride in who your child is and where he comes from.
Developing Self-confidence in Your Child: Who Am I?
All children develop a sense of self and gain self-confidence through their relationships with their parents.
Parents develop this connection by being enthusiastically involved in their child's development and supporting skill-building efforts and emotional closeness.
Discipline is balanced with love, logic, fairness, and pride.
The parents' response to the child is warm, loving and nurturing.
Laughter and joy are frequently expressed in the home.
Parents support the childÍs intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and social growth. Parents work to promote responsibility, pride, and self-respect.
Parents' share information with the child about their birth country, teaching them a respect and pride in their native land.
Preserving Your Child's Heritage: Your Child's Life Book
The basic purpose for the life book is to provide your child with her unique life story. Whatever details can be gathered should be a part of your child's book. Your child's life book may include, but not be limited to the following:
- Child's birth information: date, time, location, weight, and height
- Information about the her birth family if available
- Name of the orphanage and location
- School-related information
- Medical information on the child
- Letters and mementos from parents, relatives, or significant others
- Anecdotes about the child: developmental milestones, favorite activities, hobbies, or sports, favorite friends, cute, "naughty" behaviors, special trips or outings, and religious experiences
- Photographs of events throughout the child's life
Accepting and Sharing a Difficult Past: Your Child's Rights and Your Obligation
Children must be told about adoption and must be helped to understand it in order to grow. As a parent, you must be open and accepting of adoption. When telling your child about adoption, try to be honest, matter-of-fact, and nonjudgmental in your explanations. Always answer your child's questions, but don't reveal information for which he is not ready.
Most of all recognize that adoption was created by God. We are His adopted children. Pray for your adopted children, dedicate them to Him, and trust Him to guide you in handling life along with its adoption issues.
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